If I ever died

It's 3am in the morning and I sound like a person who is attempting to commit suicide.

Hell no.

If I ever died suspected suicide, it must be a smokescreen.
Someone is trying to escape liability by making it a suicide case.
I can assure you that I will never end my life with my own hands.

Why would someone want to kill me in the first place?
Mistaken identity is the most sensible reason but since he/she plans so much to murder me he/she should have properly identified me because sending me to death.
So taking that into account, I would not by any chance be murdered.

Jeez. I have gone too far.

So my family members and kawan-kawan sekalian,
if I ever died,

1. Don't send me wreaths
Which girls don't fancy flowers?
I am a big fan of flowers'. I love receiving flowers, like any other girls in the world.
But I hate to see them dying.
It's so helpless and so hopeless.
You can't do anything to remedy the situation.
K la why do I talk about things when I am alive.

Back to death.
It's really sweet to express your condolences and loves and respects with wreath but it would be such an epic waste in the end.
Those flowers would be dumped anyway.
Since I'm dead, I wouldn't know it.
*side note: yes. So give it to me when I'm alive, when I can see it, feel it, smell it, mourn for its death*
I would rather you guys use the equivalent amount of money to serve the charitable purpose.
It helps both you and I, plus the garbage cleaners, and the society too.

2. Try to make me beautiful - naturally
Who doesn't want to die in a beautiful way?

Nevertheless people, I don't want cakey powdery make up.
Try to make it as natural as possible.

Can the artists use those products I have been using?
Or our skin condition would be different if we were dead?

Just... for those who are taking charge of it, I would prefer nude make up - at least it won't run out of date. Smokey eyes are for clubs - so, please don't do that. Make reference to the mineral eyeshadows I'm current using, the one consist of beige, brown and army green if you have no idea what is earthy.
Keep the blush light too, as when I'm alive now, I don't usually apply blusher.
Of course you will have to draw the eyebrows for me, please feel free to trim them if you think that it's necessary to do so. Don't make them too thin though. Still, make it natural.
Ah as for the lips, I don't want any sexy chilli red nor barbie hot pink. Pinky peach would do.

I still wanna look like myself even if I'm wearing make up.

As for the costume, I think I shall go for black.
I actually quite like the basic black tee I have recently bought - you may go for that.
I would love to wear a skirt of medium length - by that I mean at least 5 inches above knee length (yes some of you are trying to see how long is 5 inches). I am thinking of high-waisted but then I think it will be out of date leh.
Haiyah forget it, let's just go for jeans. It's good for every age. It doesn't make any sense if I am still wearing my skirt at my age of 40.
What about my shoes? I need a pair of comfortable footwear. A pair of pumps would do. Please don't make me wear 3-inches, although I have often been spotted wearing them.

I think I will need to make an update for every decade as fashion develops rapidly.

3. Donate my usable organs
Please. I think I have healthy organs - I seldom drink, I have never smoked,
oh wait,
I stay up late, but that doesn't affect much I guess.
It would be such a waste if they were to be burnt - well, they would subsequently become ashes and gone with the wind,
it's not that you are gonna take them as meals or what (GROSS) so just put them into use la.
I could save lots of life by you making that decision alright.
(Yes I still have not signed myself up for that)

4. And if you attend my funeral
Feel free to make noise. The merrier the better.

Feel free to miss me, but show some respect la, keep the gossips until the funeral is over.
Smile when you are looking at me through the coffin, I have the tendency to cry when I see others crying too (yes la so if you don't want to see tears dropping from the corner of the eyes of a corpse's, you better smile.)

Oh wait.

I have to tendency to smile when others smile to me too. Ew creepy la if I smile to you through the coffin. But still, you can't be not smiling just because of this factor. Smile. Not grin, not smirk, but smile. Don't force and fake it though - I want true smilse. (walao such a demanding dead woman)

Well you know, I'm not afraid of death - the future might be vague (well I have no one to clear my sins for me because Jesus Christ is not in my dictionary [don't feel offended. Freedom to religions k?] and I might have to account for what I have done in my lifetime - that is the belief in Buddhism) , but yet I have no fear for that.
I am more afraid of departure with my family and friends.
No one would deny that it is painful to lose your loved ones. (I believe that I am considered as so for some of the people out there, at least, for my family and my high school bffs - not the paris hilton type)
It is cruel to see someone crying for you when you can do nothing about it.
This is what I do not want to happen.

...

My mind is kinda messed up now.
I shall sleep early to keep my organs healthy so they are capable of being used by some other people.
Wow the clock reads 3:42 am yes la I have been writing this post for 42 minutes.
Shall catch some sleep now.

Yeap people, try your best to comply with my wishes in the event of my death.