Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Hachiko's invasion

I just watched Hachiko: The Dog's Story last night despite that it has been released for over a year.

I can't get over it.

Whenever my mind is not occupied (eg peeing/driving),
those scenes in Hachiko's would flash through.

How Hachiko was lost in the train station.
How Hachiko was picked by the professor.
How Hachiko was trained.
How Hachiko tried to sneak out just to send its owner off.
How Hachiko sit handsomely while bearing the hope of the master's return - which never realised.
How Hachiko pictured the master's return at the last moment.

Okay la I felt better when the dog's wish was fulfilled by its own imagination but... it was not real.

It never happened.

Then I started to blame the producer of the show:
Why couldn't Professor Parker ala Richard Gere the dog's master die at home?
Hachiko wouldn't have to bear the expectation of the owner's return that way.

The idea that the dog was waiting for something which would never come, shattered my heart.
Whenever I think of the scenes,
my tears welled up and with a blink of eyes,
they would roll down.

My brother just sent me the scores of Hachiko's theme song,
and I couldn't complete the song,
my vision was blurred with tears.

And I can't help but to relate Hachiko to Carpy.

Every dog would wait for its owner's return.
I would never be alone notwithstanding that I return at four in the morning,
Carpy would be lying at the doorstep, waiting for me.

Whenever the gate opened,
the sleeping Carpy would spring up,
and welcome the return of it's owner with waving tails.

What if...

I went out and never returned?

now the sadder part.

What if...

I come back and what awaits me is darkness and silence?

I shared this idea with April and she comforted me that my grandma would be waiting for me,
led me to a worse idea.
I don't even want to go to that part.

It will happen, subsequently.

I think this is the best moment in my life but I know that I will not be in this situation for life.
Things will change.

If I were given a chance to choose,
I think I would choose to be the one who bear the sadness.

All of the sudden, I feel so reluctant to grow.
I hate the idea that I would be torn apart with my loved ones.

p/s: writing helps. I'm feeling better now.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Stockholm syndrome (2)

Currently listening to: Massive Attack - Paradise Circus

Read this.

Can die or not?
I'm suffering from the same syndrome.

I fell in love with someone who was...

How should I put it?
I don't want to use harsh words like disgusting or ugly because it's very de offensive la.

if I were to rate him,
it would be 1 out of 10.
At least everything of his was complete.

He was fat,
has thin hair,
thick lips,
oriental eyes,
onion nose,
and thick palm.

Alright picture it.

It too vulgar.
I can't do it.
It's truly vomit-inducing.

He's even more disgusting than the taxi lou.

But here's the twist.
As I have mentioned earlier,
I fell in love with him.


You say,

The best part?

He kidnapped me.

Yes. I was kidnapped.


Didn't know that I even get kidnapped?

It's not something I felt proud of.
I just don't feel like spreading it, although I sorta like doing it now.
I can't hide it anymore.
I have to tell,
but I wasn't able to do it through my teeth.

I can't remember the details very well.
I was too scared at that time.
Was locked in a dark abandoned house,
like those happened in a movie or a drama.
Food and drinks were provided.
Nothing special.
Forgotten how to solve my bladder problems though.

Don't worry,
my family paid the ransom,
everything is alright.
We didn't lodge a police report,
I fell in love with him, the kidnapper, that very person we were supposed to charge and put him behind the bar.

who would entertain a case which happened in my dream?

Thursday, October 7, 2010


It is vital that you understand Cantonese and Chinese in order for you to read this post.

I'm amazed by the power of language.
I'm amazed that people are able to communicate with and understand each others by words.

I mean, this is not something gifted by God, I suppose.
God did not teach us how to speak, how to read, how to write.
Our parents or our guardians or our teachers do.

So, my mother tongue is Cantonese.
I think I started learning Chinese in kindergarten, and fall in love with it thereof.
Needless to say, I understand Malay and English.
Hello, it's Malaysia. Who doesn't understand this?
I know a little of Italian too...
Okay I feel guilty saying so.
I can't speak Italian - I just know a bit of their terms - we have to memorise all those in our music theory.
My ex boyfriend used to communicate in Hakka with his friends and hence,
not only do I understand Hakka,
I can speak too.

That's why I said,
language is amazing.

Well, it is a known fact that most of the Malaysians know at least 3 languages
Most of us couldn't be able to profess in except for the mother langauge.
Hey no, even our mother language are emblazoned [or rather tainted] with our very own Malaysian elements.
Eg, we dont' pronounce 什么 as shen3me although it is the accurate pronounciation but we said sommok instead.
We usually shorten 这样 into 酱.

As for Manglish, please click here.
It's rest assured that you will be amused by those familiar terms.

Well yeap, this is our nature which non-Malaysians might find it difficult to understand.

So, not only Malaysian come out with their own languages,
we among ourselves do create some alien terms too.

Come, let me share some of them with you.

Again, if you don't understand Cantonese/Chinese,
you will not be able to understand the following terms,
except perhaps for the last one.

Hot noisy, etc.
This is a direct translation from the chinese word, 热闹.
The hamka family loves this kind of translation.
Oh speaking of so, hamka stands for 冚家 in chinese,
means whole family.

How sweet...~

In Malay, this would mean representative.

If you speak Cantonese, I'm sure that you have came across this phrase:
Direct translation: Pretend as a pro while you have little knowledge of something.

So the Chung family really hate people who talk a lot especially when they don't have much substance per se.
But we are a bunch of kind people you see,
we hate hurting others.

In order to conceal our evilness,
we came out with this term.

So when someone talk too much,
we would just refer him/her as wakil.
It is all understood then.


When the hamka members run out of words in an argument,
and they don't feel like cursing (hamka is such a civilised clique yo),
they would use Numpetkia.

Example of usage:
Don't be so numpetkia can or not?
numpetkia la u!!

From the above instances,
you can see that the range of usage for numpetkia is really wide.
It doesn't bear a specific definition,
it can be implied as foolish, brainless, useless, etc.

The best thing is,
people wouldn't even get hurt if you use this word.

It's one of the hamka member's nickname created in a Dota game.

Strictly speaking, it shares the similar usage with numpetkia.
In another word, it's the cute version of numpetkia.

Don't be so chibubu can or not??
Chibubu la you!!

I find it cute and I name the mommy cat who just gave birth to four kittens at my front yard after it.More on this later.


(块衰 is to be pronounced gao shui)

This is improvised from the word 大块衰.
Please don't attempt to read it in Chinese.
This phrase doesn't exist at all.

So during high school,
we have this 块衰家族.
We would name the members according to the body size.
The girl who has the smallest size would be named 细细块衰,
followed by 细块衰,and so on.
I am of middle size among the clique hence I was named 中块衰.

Ajeedoo, Ajeedee, Ajee guh luct dai hou chow.
Read aloud.

Still don't get it?
Read again.

Don't get it?
Alright, you don't understand Cantonese.

It is a song created by my younger sister and brother.

Ajeedoo, Ajeedee, Ajee... doesn't mean anything.

Guh Luct Dai can be translated as armpit,
while hou chow means very smelly.

It's such a disgusting song which came with hilarious moves but I just can't stop laughing when they performed it.

I wished that they could do it again but their image prevails everything,
so even if they are willing to perform it,
they would want it to keep it private.

Oh by the way, the second verse sounds like the following:
Ajeee dooo....
Ajeee deee....
Ajeee Guh Luck!
See Fuct Jai hou Chow....

Those who can understand cantonese,
read out loud, and try to decode the words la.

Kuku sotong

This is a famous guys' game in my brother's high school.
Kuku means penis in... Cantonese? Child's language? Hokkien? Malay?
Not important, as long as you know that by kuku we refer to penis and by sotong we mean squid.

Basically the victim will be pushed against the floor by a bunch of guys,
while one of them hold the victim's legs in his hands,
and press one of his foot against the guy's penis so to make the guy's penis look like those squid's legs.


Yes you do.

K la.
That's all from now.
I will write more if any strikes my mind again.

Monday, October 4, 2010


I'm glad to have reincarnated as a human instead of a tree so that I wouldn't have to be processed into papers and become a diary.

It's difficult to keep secrets, especially when it's something happy,
something of which you would want to spread it off on behalf of the person who told you that secret.

Well, that's the difficult part.
See, I'm a kaypoh, and I love knowing something which others don't know.
I feel privileged that way.
The hard part is that I can't use it as a gossip topic.
So friends have faith on me and keep on feeding me with their secrets,
and the more I get from them, the more I feel like bursting it out but I can't!!
That's difficult.

I really don't get why wouldn't that someone share it with everyone.
Oh, maybe that particular person did, in the same way he/she shared with me.

'It's a secret, please don't tell anybody else.'
That's what he/she told everyone.
He/she wanted to make it low hence he/she used this way.

Then when any of the listener spread it off to another listener,
the second listener would go like 'oh he/she told me the same too!'
then indirectly the whole world would get to know that piece of news.

I'm not a diary, and I'm glad that I'm not, otherwise I would have to take more secrets,
but your secrets are still safe with me.

What crap am I talking about?

*Tony Starks, if you are reading, I don't refer to your secret.
I refer to someone else's.*