it's complicated

That does not apply to my relationship status.
I am single, simple as that.

By that, I am referring to my current mood.

I shall be happy.

My exam result has just released.
I did not pass in flying colors, but at the very least, they are running, or walking, if you want to put it that way.
I made it through to CLP anyway.

I shall be happy.

I was once happy.
I have never put any expectation over my result.
All I ask of is just to get a key to CLP - and now I've got it.

Everything has gone so well, until that image flash my mind.

My dad.

Being the eldest among the siblings,
he is putting high expectation over me,
that I shall be good, as I am always the role model for the younger ones.
I got rather decent result last year, which leads him to expect of the same from me this year.

I texted him to result, and 'second lower is a sure thing for you lah...' is what he has replied in text.
'anyway, you still deserve a congratulations.' he added.

Later, my dad called me.
I could sense disappointment in his voice.
I could hear myself convincing him this is not that important, as long as I get a decent result for the Certificate of Legal Practice.
It is not that important, as long as I make competent presentation in an interview.

Well, he responded by saying that his not-so-excellent result is anything but something to assist him to have his current achievement.
Yes I have to agree.
He made an attempt to comfort both of us.

Dad, you phailed lah.

You added something about the master degree in law.
Yea, with my result, I can't get a key to that door.
I could do MBA though, I told my dad.
Erm... I hope.

My eyes welled up as soon as I ended the call.
I could then feel the warmth of tears on my cheeks.
It should not be that fashion.
I shall be smiling.

I have disappointed my dad.
I am sorry.

Now I'm thinking, I have been a good nerdie girl for 3 years,
am I doing it for myself or my dad?
Come to think of it,
my dad was the one who chosen this path for me.
I was aimless afterall.
While people ask me, why law?
I would say, I have nothing better to do, and my dad wishes that I could be a lawyer.
That's the truth.

Still, I am happy for myself.
I gave in my best.

CLP, here I come.
At least I'm still on the right path.

p/s: my dad is the best man in the world,
don't you ever think low of him.
He just expected highly of me, and I did not meet his expectation.
That's all.

So that's the end??

3 years... and that is the end of it?

*wah raining. so ngam to be sentimental*

Over the years, I only have 1 long term friend in the college.
Well you know it, she's April.

Let me tell you what happen to my college
My college life has basically comes to an end.

I came to the college with my ex-boyfriend.
Basically both of us have no dreams to chase after - sigh I was unambitious that way.
It was my dad who made me take up the law courses.
I was like, well, since I had nothing better to do, I might just as well go for law.
I would take up anything as long as it is not a science subjects.
I had never passed my add. maths in school.
I was considered lucky to have obtained a beautiful C5 in SPM.
As for my ex-boyfriend, he missed me too much (muahaha) and couldn't stand long distance relationship, hence he came over to KL to continue his studies with me.
At the mean time, we got to know April and her secondary schoolmate, Wai Yee.
I wasn't really too close to my collegemates by then because my ex thought that people in the college were nerds and he didn't like joining them.

Somehow, he failed some of his subjects, and dropped off subsequently.
Then we broke up - the failure was one of the reasons, but it wasn't the main one.
Wai Yee failed too, and she had to retake all the four subjects, hence remained in the first year.

There left April and I.
Somehow, but I had forgotten how, we got to join in this clique.
They were the classmates, the gossipmates, the lunchmates, the clubmates, the outingmates, and we thought it was all good.

Well you get the idea- we thought.

Somehow, I had no idea how, things changed after the holiday.
It was quite heartbreaking.
We really like them but some people in the clique became very cold to April and I.
We had no idea what had happened.
People in the college could see that. They could see that we were no longer in the group and some closer ones started to question if anything happened.
For heaven's sake, we had no idea at all.
The clique just distant us for no reason - I did not say that it was their fault but at least let us know what had we done to make you guys do this to us.
Yes if any of you are reading, please tell us.
We used to be bothered and very concerned of it because we thought we were friends, not mere acquaintances.
We kept on tracing back, tried to think if we had done something wrong.
Nevertheless, things could not be seen clearly when we ourselves were in the mist.

Well, things become better now.
Although we are no longer belong to one same clique, we are still talking to each others.
It is uber childish to do those 'i don wanna friend you anymore' stuff.

In the final year, we somehow able to join in another clique - thanks to my brother's friend (hello Clement!!) and his friend.
I didn't know Clement was in the same class with me until my brother brought him to my house to have Chinese New Year reunion dinner (pitiful to have dinner on his own during CNY k?).
After we join in the clique, we sorta like superior (too much a word but you get the idea) over him because there are more girls in the clique and the poor him always get bullied.
Now I feel so wrong because I always show him my unhappy face but erm... he memang has the ability to memangzangkan (that being menggeramkan in Malay) me!
Sorry la Clem, you are really a nice person and I don't know why I treated you so badly.
I seek forgiveness please??
Okay I am forgiven. Yeap, I know I am, you are always nice that way.

This clique is cool.
I never believed in study group.
I think that it is necessary for this subject titled 'jurisprudence'.
It is one subject of which one would never be able to cover everything.
Plus! I have gone addicted with online shopping and I could surf all day long if I were to be left alone.

Occasionally, I did join some of the outings organised by cliques other than these 3.

College life ain't that dull afterall.

Thus concluded my 3-year college life.

What do I feel now you ask?
(alright you may not ask because most of you have probably gone through that but the future me would like to know. Hello me!!)

Not much.
Nothing.
I did not get too sentimental because I know that we did not only meet up with each others in the college la. We might not eat bak kut teh pearl noodles as lunch anymore but we could still hangout with each others anyway.
So yea, currently I really don't feel a thing, I guess most of you out there feel the same as I do.

Right. It's time to fill up my 3 months of break with some fabulous plans.
(shall start with the usual diet plan!)

=D

Done with the mother of all subjects,
the toughest of all.

Right, time for packing.

Goodbye jurisprudence!!

Wait.

I still have another 3 more subjects to go right??

Oh yea.

PaD - Where has my social life gone?

I have no idea.

I can see nothing but books.

PaD - mega mind map

51 pages of information

*swoosh*

8 pieces of A4 paper
*swoosh*

thick cello tape
*swoosh*

Glue and scissors
*swoosh*

Piles of A4 papers in various colors
*swoosh*

Present to you,

The Mega Mind Map
*I did not add in the bubbles with PS. Unnecessary.
They are stuck on my mirror - not that it's necessary though*

Q: What's the *swoosh* about?
I'm trying to create the trailer effect -
when the scene in the trailer changes,
some sound effects would be cued.
Get it now?
K if you didn't get it just now,
scroll up again,
and try to imagine that.

If you know any lamer girl,
let me know.

We could be best friends.

PaD - Hermit Crab

I wish I could provide a real picture of a hermit crab's,

that would indicate that I'm somewhere near the beach or so.

Sigh. (a long one)
By that I mean I am grounding myself.
Wow I am such a disciplined person -
usually it was the parents who ground their children and I am exercising my parent's duty on myself.
I am amazing.

Alright, stop the self-admiration and back to the topic.

Yes you would see me online quite often,
it could up till 8 hours per day or so,
then you might think that,
this girl, who has no life, is here again...

Through my defence, whenever you see me online, I am studying.
Otherwise, I would be out there loitering around.

Yea you hear me right I'm a nerd that way.

Nah.
Damn canggih leh being an external student of University of London,
you get to have this 'Virtual Learning Environment',
where you get to study online.
Yes la when mentioning 'good study environment' people would usually link to big fields, trees, sunlight, lakeside or the most basic one, the library.
But us... a virtual one.

Then again...
Is this available in your college????
No leh.
My college is hence better than yours nah nah nah nah nah.
*childish*

*switch to normal mode*
I really have no idea what else could I update for the upcoming days as I will be doing the same thing everyday - until mid June.

PaD - the masterpiece

I found it in the big red envelope which contains of all the lovey-dovey cheesy stuff when I was cleaning my room this morning.I usually don't brag about my drawing skill - erm... simply because I don't have any.

But as you can see! I can colour!

And yes, I am a memory keeper - I can't bear letting beautiful moments fade off that way. I dispose off sad and angry moments though, albeit sometimes the goods and the bads are interrelated. I am quite shocked to know that most of my friends deleted their ex's pictures and vice versa, I am blamed for keeping them. Erm I thought of telling my grandchildren about this popo's first love in the future because as a grandchild myself, I'm dying to know my grandparent's love story. Then they said something like it's not pleasant to have the current boyfriend see it - those pictures are really provoking. Hmm maybe they are true in this sense but since I don't have any now, keeping the pictures shouldn't cause any major problems.

But then again, most of the pictures are gone anyway. I hid the picture folders and when I sent my laptop to be formatted, I had forgotten to back the hidden folders hence yeap, they are gone with the formation.

Anyway, let's get back to the masterpiece.

It was a creation by my ex and I in the class out of boredom. Oh how pure our relationship could be - coloring when the teacher was not conducting a lesson.

Nonono it didn't happen during those kindergarten days when we brought color pencils to the school everyday.

For heaven's sake I started my first relationship at my age of 18, when I was a lower sixth-former. I can't remember why did I bring color pencils to school when I was in form 6- It's for Pengajian Am if I'm not mistaken.

See, I wanted to name it our masterpiece but I think since it's over now, it's not quite appropriate to make it ours. So if he gets famous one day (we wouldn't know!) and I would be able to benefit from the masterpiece from auctioning it off just because his signature is on the picture!

Okay I am such a dreamer I have a feeling that he wouldn't really get famous (again we wouldn't know but that's my instinct and it can be quite zun at times)

PaD - heavily preserved food

I believe that you have seen the video of the experiment with regards to the McDonald's foods' preservation level.

The fries concluded to be the most heavily preserved food in McD's -
it could stay fresh for some 10 days (or 10 weeks?).
We adopted the all for one, one for all concept.
It reminds me of my ex.
McD's fries are one of his most favourite food.
I believe that he could finish up this pile of fries on his own.

...

It makes me sound old but I have to say this - I'm tired.
I'm usually very energetic, noisy, elaborative, bubbly but I feel like a pawn now.

9 hours of classes-
For someone who usually has 4 hours of classes a day,
3 days per week,
9 hours, indeed, is an enormous leap.

...

Damn, I am speechless - and that's rare.

Till then.

Another 6 hours tomorrow.

Sex and the city and Land law

How the hell could they be related to each other?

Somehow, it works for me.
I guess it works for every law student who takes Land Law and law of trust,
who, is currently studying like hell.

Yea, when Carrie Bradshaw offered to contribute to the purchase price of that Manhattan penthouse at the Fifth Avenue,
I can't help but to think that she wants a share in the house.
This smart girl is trying to establish a common intention that she would own the house too.
Hmm. I wanna be like her.

Fellow classmate, we call that resulting trust or constructive trust, yea?

*shakes head*

Pathetic.

Anyway, am gonna continue watching it now.

Latest addiction

No. Not midnight baking.
On serious diet now.

Type in www.imeem.com.
Then type 'j-a-z-z' on the search panel.
Turn off the screen, leave the lappie on - just let it flow.

Best accompanied with a cup of mint hot chocolate.
(did I just say I'm on diet?)
Option, rose tea. Or see-doh-beh-lei tea.

What a delightful afternoon,
with my law text books.

Long term memory lost

Flipped through my textbooks.
Highlighted.
Underlined.
Noted with my own understanding in Chinese.
Very semangat in the first few months of the course.
Amazing.

The shitty thing being I can't really remember I have done all those.
Then what's the point of studying in the first few months?

This explained why last-minute studies work for me.
(hopefully)

Next post....

Now...

BRB...

Ilustrate Potong Steam II

Was waiting for those Music Club late comers.

(Malaysian timing ma. Well)

While reading the text book of Law of Trusts.

And...

Saw his name -which is same with one of the judges who gave some not so impreative views.

(=.=)

Potong steam.

Was syok syok studying okay?

(hello? Am I okay? studying Law of Trusts in syokness?)
It's very rare for me to study in the morning okay?

NOW...

Total failure of concentration.

100% distracted.

Why must my crush's name same as that of the judge's??

Blame.. Erm.. Well..

No one I can really blame for me being out of focus.

Blame myself then.

Okay. Shall back to Law of Trusts now.

(by the way I haven't seen my name on any textbook yet)

Law Asia Conference Day 1

*kinda*continued from this post <-- those pictures were taken on the 3rd day

So thanks to Daniel Bong Cheng Hua, I've got the opportunity to participant the Law Asia Conference - as a volunteer. Muakaka. No regrets I tell you~

By the way, I looked crappy in most of the pictures because I've gained weight hence my face was super round and my body was fat and I have pinned my fringe and I was wearing braces and I didn't have my eyebrows properly drawn because I was too rush in that morning yadda yadda yadda .
Doesn't matter lar that is still me anyway.

Daytime was boring. Nothing much to do.
The scope of our job is pathetically narrow - to usher the delegates, who didn't really need to be ushered anyway.

Alright. Anyway.
Anson and me - not sure why the grab

Sathiya and Anson

Me and Sathiya

Navin and me

See I told you. Nothing much to talk about.
It is not that we were not allowed to take pictures while ushering.
Not really appropriate to do so though.

(p/s: my newly bought court shoes were killing me.
Thanks to Sathiya's plasters.
My legs wouldn't have survived until nighttime without her plasters)

Walala. Skip forward.

Night time.
Before going off to somewhere.
(where la? ish.)

Guess we are heading to?
Yealar, DINNER. Yes yes yes you are right.Be more precise lar.
Guess what?

*drum roll*
Ceng
Ceng
Ceng
Ceng~!!!!!!!

Carcosa Seri Negara~!!!

Ahem. Sorry. Please bear with my uluness.
I really have not been to any resident-general's place before.
Sir Frank Swettenham used to reside in this so-called 'King's House' leh~~~~~
Not sure if I still have the chance to go to this place,
hence, pictures, pictures and pictures.
(well I won't mind if my future hubby wanna have our wedding dinner here)

Cheers - for we have got the chance to enter Carcosa.
(no la they never meant so. They are not as ulu as I am)

FOOD~!!!!!!!
Well that's not all okay...
This was our.. erm.. 5th? or 6th? round.

'Eat eat eat. No wonder you are so fat la.' Yes I truly appreciate that. Thank you.

My plate was full of food if you haven't realised yet. Nyahaha. Free food.
Unlimited murtabak, prawn fritters, fried eggs, (die.. what else... short term memory lost ishhhh), etc.etc.
Everyone has stopped eating. Alright you can see that the greedy me was still holding that bowl of ice kacang.
Nah stopped eating. Okay?
(actually my plate of meehoon was placed somewhere else, nyahaha)

Oklay sorry lar Rachel. was blocking. Btw the specky guy was the organising chairman of the conference.

With Edmund Bon Tai Soon the human rights lawyer.
The girls were of opinion that he is cute.. well.. it's subjective.
Lalala I accidentally taken a self-potrait picture with him - I just grabbed him along when he passed by. I didn't even know that he is this Edmund Bon. Laalalalala.
*what so bangga about duiz....*
I truly understand that I looked crappy here. But...they said.. 'act cute...' *innocent*
Alright. This is not cute. Thank you.
Last but not least...
Can't really see our faces though.End of day 1.
Wonderful. =)
Because there are free food~

GOOD MORNING!!!!!!

Having risen at 6.30a.m. to have my assignment done, I have successfully brought my last-minuteness to a new level~!!!

Congratulations~!!!!! *confetti thrown in the air*

Well, normally I would burn midnight oil in order to complete everything. It shall be 9 or 10 hours before class when I have it done. Now~!! I will be having class in about 3 hours~!! Hooiyoh~!!!

So I slept at 10.30p.m. (Whoaaaa....) because my eyes were swollen from well-you-know-why + I slept not more than 5 hours on the previous night (morning?) - well you know why.

Guess what? 30 minutes upon falling asleep, someone called, asked me out for Oreo Mudpie~!!!
(see I told you so, I am well protected by my guardian angel. It knows what I want)

Okay okay. That's not all. The person who called me up, is.. is.. is..
MY CRUSH~!!!!!!!!
(eh people don't luan luan guess okay. Those who know who my crush was/is, it might still be him, it might not be him.)

Happy or not??

You know what's the best thing???????

I rejected.

-.-

I started to be conscious upon the blurry rejection. I was like.. 'Huh? What have I done? I picked sleeping over Oreo Mudpie + crush?'

Haiyoh.

Well it is indeed, a right choice. I am wise. I haven't done my assignment yet and I have to do it. I was am sick and in serious need to catch some rest. Whoa I am rational even in those half-conscious situation.

Anyway.

Shall back to my assignment now.

Have a good day ahead people~!!!! Lurve ya~!!!

Colorful

Wow my life is so dramatic... so many things happened in one day.. wow wow wow...~
(what a drama queen... -.-)

1. Happy Birthday, Anson~~ + first outing with college mates

Yes, it was our first outing, after knowing each other for freaking one year. -.-

Yeap happy birthday~~

The chocolate milk joke. Haha our very own lame joke. Not forgetting PP and kukusotong too.

Audrey the Sabahan. Lalala you won't understand unless you are from the east too..
Lalala I understand because I stayed there for 2 years. Lalala~~

And you know what? I really think I have a guardian angel who always stand by me!
Last night I had an unusual craze for ice-cream and cake (partially because am having sore throat) , and today I got to eat both!! This is so creepy yet so sweet~!!!

Dear Angel, I know that you are there~ *look up, smile*
thank you for everything~
I truly appreciate it~~~ ^^

2. Bumped into Sek Sao!!!
Do not tell me you don't know who is Sek Sao.
If you have watched enough TVB soaps, you would know him.
Yea according to Mei Yi, the uncle celebrity. Na.


Okay enough of uncle's pictures.
Now picture of me and uncle.
3. Parking ticket lost T.T
I was conscious when I put the parking ticket into the handbag. I swear.
How nice if that was the ending of the story.

NOO!!! I searched through the whole bag, and I couldn't find that. It disappeared for no reason. T.T

I went to the information counter, asked if anyone has found any ticket and passed it to her. She took out a parking ticket and asked me to proceed to the Car Park Office instead of the autopay machine.

I was so delighted I ignored what she asked me to do and tried to pay at the autopay machine. And guess what?

-.- walao.

I thought that there was something wrong with the machine and I told the person who was going to pay after me, 'nah you see la, yours also will be a thousand bucks.'

But it turned out to be RM5.00. Well, apparently, it's my problem.
Purposely went back to the machine again to take picture of 3-digit-parking rate.

Sigh, I then proceeded to the Car Park Office and the guy took my ticket without asking anything and voila! I only have to pay for rm7, instead of RM35 for the lost ticket. I asked him if anyone get fined for RM35 for the lost ticket, he said nay, everyone does that when they lost their tickets.

Ceh I thought I was special. -.-

4. Jazz Concert
I guess the last time I step into the Philharmonic Hall is 4 years ago. Wow that was really long.


I've made a wise step. I picked this jazz concert by Unit Asia over another performance by a jazz singer when Jonathan asked me about it and man it was really fantastic! Two hours just woooosh, gone.

I was so afraid that I would fall asleep because I have just slept for 4 hours.
But nooooo... the whole performance was just so breathtaking and you couldn't really 'sit back, relax and enjoy the show' because it was so ecstatically enjoyable!!

5. I thought that my car was stolen
When I was happily asking my crush if the jazz concert he went was the one I went (okay la I just want to listen to his voice I admit), I realised that I couldn't locate my car.
I remembered vividly that I parked at my car at 4a. I even took a picture of it so that I wouldn't forget about it.
See!! 4A!!

But but.. the car wasn't there. T.T

I activated the alarm but I could hear nothing. I heard someone else's alarm been activated too and I frustratingly hoped that that person could locate his/her car as soon as possible so that I can hear my alarm. It was just so distracting ish.
But nooooo... it seemed like that person also has failed to locate his/her car.

Guess what?

It was my alarm. -.-

And guess what? I parked my car at basement 3, instead of basement 2 which I'd been searching thoroughly of.

6. I've received the parcel from U. of London!!
Which means.. I am be able to study now~!!
which means.. I really shall start studying now....

7. I did the assignment but it disappeared
Which means I have to redo it.
Sigh. Why is my life full of ups and downs.....

Tomorrow, tomorrow. Yea. Result.

*Update update update update update!!!!
Just checked online...
and...


I pass!!

Geddit??!!!

P-A-S-S!!!! (albeit sucks)

but still... PASS!!!!!!!!

Aiyo... able to sleep very very tight tonight

I will be going to the first year (yea it's intermediate now), studying something new!! Yay yay yay yay yay!!!* [11.11pm 28-8-2008]

Anxiety crawls from top to toe. Fingers keep trembling even while typing.

Tomorrow will be the day.

Make it through or otherwise, I will still appreciate miss you guys.

Haih.
Do miss me too.

All the best.