Thursday, November 29, 2007

Does virginity matter?

p/s: It has nothing to do with the virginity of the olive oil. I do love food. but it doesn't really concern me of how virgin is the olive oil

Identity of the following characters are to be kept confidential.

For once, 'Virginity is the best wedding present for your life companion.' And I am grown up in a family with such concept. Till today.

For now, looking at this question, I might receive feedback (expressed or unexpressed) from people (who probably no longer a virgin) which sounds, 'wtf.. such a nerd Q..'

On my age of 15, me and my friends had a talk with our senior, A, who was 20 at that time. Gradually, it came to sex.

One of my friend: have you ever had sex with F (who was that time his girlfriend) ?
A: by the time you reach 20, you would feel that it wouldn't be a problem for having sex, for most of the 20s did have sex.'

A common draggie 'oooowwwwhhhhhh...' by the naive us has been expressed as the reply. And A said again, 'trust me, you would understand it.'

Following, another 'ooooowwwwwhhhhhh......'

That time, the real naive us were to criticise those who had pre-marital sex. We were really anti pre-marital sex. We were like, how could they do these. aren't they not shameful when doing this. i won't do this. i will keep it for my real hubby. i will protect my body well. i won't disappoint my parents. Bla bla bla bla bla. Things like those.

Years later, as expected, things change. Four of us, seemed to have forgotten what we had stated 5 years ago.

B: I still haven't forgotten. I still think that we really should protect our body well. Better worry than sorry. I think my future hubby will be happy that I'm still a virgin - the rare one.
C: How could you guys not fantasising? We are human-being. Things are hard to be controlled. When you need it, you need it.
D: I play safe. I play safe sex with someone who is economically secured - u know, just in case..
E : Yea. Safe sex. To avoid the creation of unwanted life. Well, I would want it, but it's not the time. I still hope to save my cherry for my hubby, though.

One of them is me, of course. I wouldn't reveal which one. Guess.

See, not much of contradiction though, but things really have changed. Even nerdie geeks like us gradually forgotten the importance of virginity, then what could we say about the world out there?...

More and more people at my age are getting married - for the accidentally creation of the little life. Some seem happy, some seem not. It seems that the matter of virginity is no longer to be concerned. What come to be more important is that the safety of it. Parents no longer giving advice like protecting your body and so on, it has changed to avoid pregnancy and things like these.

Well yea.. safe sex seems to be more important than virginity. Don't you think so?

XxXx Edited xXxX

Thanks to Daniel for the information.

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My blog is rated as PG-13... O.o.... Erm.. just because of the word 'sex'??

9 comments:

Heidi said...

Well, sadly this is what the world has turned into... :(

As for me, I still believe in saving myself for marriage. And I believe that "true love waits". :)

But that's me lah. haha. I'm still conservative. :P

Fire & Water said...

it's a simple question.. it all depends if u've a principle of ur own.... if u're fine by the fact that sex is just a mere intimacy in a rlsp.. and it's just another language of love... go ahead.. as long as u take responsibility for ur own actions.. no one can say anything... we're adults now.. supposingly... the level of thinking should be matured enough..

*cheers*

Dan-yel said...

I don't think it matters anymore. Pre-marital sex seems be over-stigmatized by our society, but no one can deny the fact that it is a reality today.

In the past, religious authorities had to prohibit pre-marital sex, not because of pre-marital sex per se, but because of the mess of problems that would come from it, eg. fatherless child, threat to the family institution, STDs, exploitation of women, emotional abuse on the women, mostly to protect the stability of society and women and children who are most liable, I think.

So, as long as both partners consent to it, and make a responsible decision and aware of the emotional commitment that would come of it (or not), they should go ahead.

About keeping 'it' for hubby? I, as a male, am of the view that it shouldn't matter if she's virgin or not. I think the idea of "keeping it for future hubby" is very closely linked to the social stigmatization of "cheap" women. I mean, who are we to judge?

For too long, our society have been "patriarchal" where it is a man's world, where man's interests and values supercede that of women's. While it is still tolerable for man to "cheat" or even glorious for men to be "playboy", our society have been rather unfair to women who seek to liberate themselves, seeking their sexual fulfillment and expression of their sexuality.

All these observations underlie my intention to not let issue of virginity or not stand in the way for my genuine love.

Okay, stop snoring ;) thought I might give a little "deeper" historical and anthropological perspective.

Dan-yel said...

But I'm all for safe sex, if you ever intend to get LAID ;)

Dan-yel said...

You should click here to give film rating for your blog, I found out that your blog is rated PG-13!!! Should paste it in your blog, it'll be cool ;)

kairos said...

Yes it does.. and there will be no going back after you've done it. So better safe than sorry. I'm a guy but I regret to have done something naughty in the past.

Cheryl a.k.a. Shang Hui said...

kairos : u do regret?? u might be the one and only endangered species(spe..cy?) in the world....

MeoW2 said...

hee i know its kinda late hee but the post is interesting hehe

as for me, and I do believe that having sex after marriage is a gift hee.. any guy would want his partner to be perfect hee

eh which one are u? hee

Cherylmeryl said...

nay it has never been too late~

thanks for agreeing with me~

so u know who am I now... haha~