Wednesday, June 10, 2009

What's bothering me now?

I won't call that infatuation. Far from it.
So you see, I have done with my exam, and currently enjoying my 3-month-break.
I am not gonna find a job because I'm working part time all along and I think that is sufficient for me - I just wanna enjoy my holiday.
My point is, I am so free now and I have got nothing better to do hence I have stuffed something really wuliao into my head.

Before I go on, I shall tell you guys a story - a very childish one.

So one fine day, Shang and her two friends were shopping in Mid Valley when they saw Barney the purple dinosaur hanging around, shaking hands with visitors.
So Shang was pretty excited (not sure why she was so) and wanted to shake hand with Barney too, but the Barney IGNORED her, and turned to the other side, which made Shang gone grumpy exaggeratedly.

When she turned into Threepointsix her friend told her, 'eh, that guy out there asked if you need him to get the Barney for you'.[I will call him the hairband-guy(THG) from now on - because he was wearing a hairband] Fine, Shang really didn't realise that. So she didn't bother and continued to shop.
[Side note: She saw one Adidas windbreaker which she really likes but she didn't bring enough cash and she has lost her debit card and she has no credit card thus she didn't get it. She saw one Disney bag that she really liked too, but her friend commented that it looked like a diaper bag - well maybe it is meant to be one, but anyway, she didn't get it either.]

Fast forward. They went to Vincci and Roxy and noticed nothing special.

So they headed to Adidas outlet store, because Shang wanted to see if there is other colors available for the jacket she has spotted (auntie Shang also wanted to compare the price - although she knows that there would be not much of difference). Her friend told her that thg's friend (let's call him the Black-Shirt-Guy [BSG]) was also in the shop - but they concluded that he was merely a staff and he was there to get the stock.

While they went out and headed to Diva, they were stopped by THG.

THG asked Shang if she could be his friend - and Shang stunned.
Well, being someone who is not conventionally pretty and fat, she would have never expected that someone would approach her - in the mall.
(at this time, reader would think: ceh. I have been approached for the thousandth time already. but I have never blogged about that
or ceh. why advertise as if it's really a big matter
The fact is that: I'm not bragging about this approach - you will know the point of this post later)

Where were we? Oh yea, approached by THG. Shang refused to give him her number because... Shang's parents have thought her not to give numeber to stranger. =.= No la. Shang just didn't feel like giving it to him - just, feel. So Shang offered him her e-mail address instead - but he didn't want that. Alright, THG actually gave Shang his phone and asked her to key-in her address but sadly, Shang had been a loyal SE user and had forgotten how to use a Nokia, hence Shang didn't make it.

Then donno how, THG turned to her friends, and there, BSG who was standing beside him, stepped in, and talked in a really soft voice,
'you don't give him la. you secretly give it to me la'

So being a law student (bullshit la), Shang always take 'FAIRNESS and JUSTICE seriously. So she thought, haiyah, since she rejected his friend, she should treat his friend the same too.
She secretly liked BSG because she thought that he's cute. really cute. Especially his smile - which looked abit embarrassed. But yea, fairness and justice, she refused to give her number to BSG too.

Then, they continued shopping as if nothing had happened.

And, while looking at the cup of green tea in front of him, Shang started to regret.

You know Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? (or something like that. PTSD in short. I don't really know the exact name but yea, something like that).
The victim won't feel anything on the spot. Instead, the feeling would arised after months of even years after the incident.
That's Shang's case. Just an analogy to be drawn to PTSD. It has nothing to do with traumas. Just, regrets. She didn't feel anything at the moment she rejected BSG but the feeling of regrets arised after hours of it.
She should have given her number to BSG because he looked quite okay nieh.

As mentioned, no one would have thought that Shang is pretty at first sight, the probability of being approached is already low low low low low, being approached by a guy who looked okay, in the mall somemore, is like, striking lottery okay?
(there is a possibility that BSG was trying to get her number for THG but still... Let me dream on okay?)

Anyway, back to Shang started to feel regret.
And regret and regret and regret...
Until 3 days later, which means today... still regret.

End of the story.

Beh tahan right?
Childish right?
I know that I will laugh at myself when I read it in the future - it's really too childish and naive.
My friend Mei Yi who was the witness also wanna died listening to my rantings. And some of my other friends felt like strangling me and knocking my head to the wall when they knew that I didn't even remember how the BSG looked like. I donno how old is BSG, I donno where is he from - basically, I know nothing about BSG. I only know that BSG was some one in Black Shirt - hence, BS. And I only know that THG's nick name is Ah Xiang and yea that's all.

Now want to look for him also cannot.

Gah. If I were to go to Pangkor or the church camp, I wouldn't had bumped into him.
And I should have gone to the church camp I guess. Grr.
It's so irritating.

=.=

Childish right???? Too deeply poisoned by Serendipity. (btw, it's a movie.)Sigh sigh sigh.

Biologically 22, physically 27, mentally 17.

We will see la. We will see how long will this stupid stuff haunt me.
Maybe I will totally forget about this tomorrow. Or the day after tomorrow. Or Saturday, when I bump into a red-shirt guy or a white-shirt guy who looks better than BSG. (But I can't even recall how BSG looks like. Duh)

6 comments:

chengyee said...

hmm, u cant diagnosed urself with PTSD xD, u need a period of 6 months of experiencing the same flash back over and over again first lol

Cheryl a.k.a. Shang Hui said...

[chengyee] yes yes, i never meant that...
just drawing an analogy from that (because i know nothing besides that)

Chan said...

You're easily fallen for someone you just know. I agree that you need to grow up :)

Cheryl a.k.a. Shang Hui said...

[Chan] yes yes!!! I also agree!!
Feel that I have 2 souls in my body, 1 more mature than the other~
thank God the mature one is taking control~

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