Fall of an acquaintance

Fact: I've been a regular at Petaling Street.
And I have never seen a single stray dog.

Ever wonder why?

Let me tell you a story.

I treated her as my acquaintance.
They told me that she was found in a pile of rubbish.
If she hadn't been picked up, she would had been crushed to death.

They picked her up, and raised her.

I, as a passerby, played with her whenever I had the chance.

I used to think that, I will be graduating soon, I will be starting new life soon,
I will be working, and I will not be attending college,
so I won't be able to see her anymore.... and I will be missed.

Now, this will not happen.
She is gone.

I had an opportunity to save her.
And I missed it.

When I saw her for the very last time, it was late at night, after my class and she was moving in a recycle bag which was in the possession of two men.
They released her when they saw me looking for her.
I got her out of the bag, hugged her, and confronted them.
I thought that they were going to take her away and eat her but they told me they were just trying to play with her.
I believed in them - partially.

That night, she was very quiet when I stroked her back, tickled her stomach, rub her chin.
She was sticking to me and when I put her onto the floor, she tried to follow me.
The parking attendant who was on the night shift made a gesture as a command for her to go back to her place, and she obeyed.

I really thought of bringing her back but... she doesn't belong to me.
The parking attendant who is on the morning shift love her.
He fed her, and played with her.
He put bangles on her neck, and tie her - sounds like restriction of her freedom, but the fact is, he did it out of the fear of her being hit by the car.
And she has a really wide area to play around, while I could only provide a tiny front yard.

I shouldn't be too selfish, right?

He would be upset if he didn't see her the next morning, right?

Sigh. Now I am looking for excuses to justify my insensitive conduct.

The next morning, I tried to look for her.
No sight of her.
I looked at her uneaten food it sent an unpleasant chill down my spine...

When the parking attendants told me that she disappeared, my eyes welled and I thought, my instinct was right.

She was caught and brought to somewhere and.. being slaughtered and eaten.
Goodness, the vision of her helpless expression while being slaughtered kept on running on my mind.

Throughout the whole tutor, I tried to search for other possibilities.
Well, it could be that.... those two men found that she's cute... and decided to raise her...
Well, I can't think of any.
No point convincing myself, she is gone.

I'm not sure how long does it take to get over it.
I know I should get on with life because there is nothing much I can do now.
Every time I go to the parking area, I think of her and I try in vain to search for her, which of course, is fruitless.

I can't help but to think that she is now dead...
I could have brought her home but I did not.
She was so young and she hadn't even started to bark yet...

My friend told me that the same cruelty happened when a chicken is slaughtered and eaten.
It made me feel better but I still can't get rid of my own imagination...

...

I hope you will have a better life in your next cycle...
I'm sorry... for not being to help you.
You are missed, and you will be missed.