Hachiko's invasion

I just watched Hachiko: The Dog's Story last night despite that it has been released for over a year.

I can't get over it.

Whenever my mind is not occupied (eg peeing/driving),
those scenes in Hachiko's would flash through.

How Hachiko was lost in the train station.
How Hachiko was picked by the professor.
How Hachiko was trained.
How Hachiko tried to sneak out just to send its owner off.
How Hachiko sit handsomely while bearing the hope of the master's return - which never realised.
How Hachiko pictured the master's return at the last moment.

Okay la I felt better when the dog's wish was fulfilled by its own imagination but... it was not real.

It never happened.

Then I started to blame the producer of the show:
Why couldn't Professor Parker ala Richard Gere the dog's master die at home?
Hachiko wouldn't have to bear the expectation of the owner's return that way.

The idea that the dog was waiting for something which would never come, shattered my heart.
Whenever I think of the scenes,
my tears welled up and with a blink of eyes,
they would roll down.

My brother just sent me the scores of Hachiko's theme song,
and I couldn't complete the song,
my vision was blurred with tears.

And I can't help but to relate Hachiko to Carpy.

Every dog would wait for its owner's return.
I would never be alone notwithstanding that I return at four in the morning,
Carpy would be lying at the doorstep, waiting for me.

Whenever the gate opened,
the sleeping Carpy would spring up,
and welcome the return of it's owner with waving tails.

What if...

I went out and never returned?
(choi!!)

Okay,
now the sadder part.

What if...

I come back and what awaits me is darkness and silence?

I shared this idea with April and she comforted me that my grandma would be waiting for me,
which,
led me to a worse idea.
I don't even want to go to that part.

It will happen, subsequently.

I think this is the best moment in my life but I know that I will not be in this situation for life.
Things will change.

If I were given a chance to choose,
I think I would choose to be the one who bear the sadness.

All of the sudden, I feel so reluctant to grow.
I hate the idea that I would be torn apart with my loved ones.

p/s: writing helps. I'm feeling better now.