New Year's Resolution

Sad case as it may sound, I have never made any resolution in my past 21 years.
Be it unambitious, be it targetless, be it lazy(most probably). Anything you like. The first of January is just another day for me. Nothing really special.
But since everyone else is making some, so yea, I guess I should set some goal for myself too (kiasu).
No la. Actually I think that my life is such a mess and it is in a critical need for improvement.

1. Lose weight
Can this be regarded as a resolution? I've always try to do so since I was 13 but I've never be able to make it. But hor, mircales do happen. I lose weight (6 kgs in 3 years - without me realising) when I hit 18 - that was when I didn't even think of it at all because I was too busy pak toh-ing.

I guess that is the main factor. It was not that I want to impress my ex by making myself more beautiful (I always think that the slimmer the prettier) nor to make him proud for having a slim girlfriend. I didn't cut down on calories nor did I work out more while paktohing. Instead, I'd been paying regular visits to fastfood restaurant (because he loves it) and you know, I really had no time to work out at all. So a lot of people asked me, how did I manage to slim down? I guess it was due to sharing of meals with him. You know I'm from a traditional family which planted this 'not to waste food' kinda thought into my mind thus I've never left any food on the plate while dining outside. In my paktoh days, whenever I felt full, I just pushed my plate to my ex and yea, he would finish it. Don't la say him a trashbin - he just didn't want to waste food okay? Some of my friend say that yerr why you so gross one, if I were you would have just give him the portion that I think I cannot finish before I start to eat. You are giving your leftover to others yerrr why so disgusting yerr yerr yerr... =.= What la. He didn't bother to eat my leftover so why did you? =.=

So upon ending the relationship, I gained weight. Like... 6 kgs? A lot of them said that I had eating disorder because I was too emotional and too sad thus I had to indulge in food for comforting purpose - this is sooooo wrong. Sigh. I eat simply because I love food. It has nothing to do with my break-up man. If you really want to think that I'm that pessimistic (which is totally contrary to the fact) then haih.. I really can't say anything about it cause OBVIOUSly, I'm not.

Back to the resolution. I'm going for low-carb diet now. I'm trying to limit my calorie intake to 1000kcal (is that even normal? I afraid that I will die from starving) per day - provided that I'm counting it accurately la. My craze for sweet stuff is still sticking with me hence, I'm replacing candies ice creams chocolates yadda yadda with ... juice. Yea. My newly bought oven will gonna hate me for loving the blender.

In addition, I'm trying to crash the gym room as much as possible. Haiyah since I have already paid I must utilise it don't you think so? (kiasuness strikes again =.=).

So you ask, why are you still so fat?

=.=

Because that's just my resolution. That is what I'm going to do this year.
Yea pray for me. Yes I can! (meh. not a fan of the Barack Obama's)

2. Study. More. More more more more more.
Sigh what a Plain Jane I am. Lose weight, study. Meh. Guess that 321938908483748 other people in this world are making the same resolution as mine.

Back to the point. Seriously. I can't afford to fail. Looking at my shitlike result in my Intermediate yet, I really afraid that I cannot make it through. I know that wasn't my limit and seriously I could have done much better than barely passing. Sigh. It's painful mentioning it.

Anyway. It's over. I have wasted 4 months and I still have another 4 to go. I can smell the exam already. I really use those time for cyber loitering in studying. I can face the monitor for 6 whole hours without any specific purpose. Sigh. How nice if that was replaced by studying?

Seriously Chung Shang Hui. You won't want to disappoint your dad your mom your uncle your aunty your grandma so and so forth and most importantly, yourselves. So yea. Study.

3. Perhaps.. Tone down?
I'm so high profile and hyperactive and loud and overreactive and expressive and you know what? This is not cute. Cause I hate high profile and hyperactive and loud and overreactive and expressive girls because I think they are attention seekers.. And all attnetion seekers are childish. In short, I hate drama queens. Sadly, I sometimes regard myself as one. Okay it isn't that I wanna seek attention (I swear!) but I just can't help it. I was 21 (by then) and I know I should be elegant, soft , feminine and whatever adjectives you can think of but sadly, I'm not born to be one who behaves like this.

Chung Shang Hui, again, it's time to grow.

...

Erm... actually I was lying when I said that my life was a mess. I'm very satisfied with my life. You know why I am named Cheryl? The one who got me my name told me that it's a reminder for me to cherish everything which is given to me. (well yea I know in actual fact 'Cheryl' is the elaboration of chérie which means 'darling' in French and sometimes if I'm in some perasan and oh-I'm-so-in-love-with-myself [narcissistic la in short. duh] I hear 'darling' when people call me Cheryl so if you are reading this and you have never intended to treat me as your darling call me Shang Hui when you see me.

=.=

Nola I don't mean that. I love my name and please call me Cheryl even if you don't mean darling.

Haiyah why I am straying so far from the point again? Where was I?
Oh yea. Am satisfy with my current life. Perhaps... just to push it a little more to some near-to-perfect stage. =)