Alone

Traveled all the way from Bandar Tasik Selatan to KL Sentral, then to Subang Jaya, then back to KL Sentral again, to Bangsar. Then take a cab from Bangsar to KL Sentral, then back to Bandar Tasik Selatan. 1, 2, 3, 4.. whoa, have been through 25 stations. Alone.

Sigh. This is not the first time I took a train. I have took it for many many many many times.
But it's the first time I went through so many stations alone. I felt that I have traveled back to my old days, those days while I was wearing the frameless specs, wearing white collared shirt and that skyblue pinafore. Those days when I did everything alone. It wasn't that I didn't have friends in those days. I didn't like to trouble my friends. When I shopped, I didn't like my friends to wait outside the changing room. When I was lost, my friends didn't have to share my troubles. Yep, I assume it my troubles. I have tried walking from Leisure Mall to my house which was located in Taman Connaught, alone. It's like.. 2kms? I didn't drop at the station which was nearest to my house because I craved for the Apple Pie / Oreo McFlurry which were only available in Leisure Mall by then.

Everything has changed. Now there is a McDonald's which I could easily reach within 5 minutes of walking distance from my house, as compared to the freaking 30 minutes to Leisure Mall. And I have not used to be alone, after pampered by my boyfriend, my family and my friends. I did everything with someone else. I have lose the ability to be independent.

I have totally changed. I need a companion for everything I do. Where has all my consideration gone?
Today, I have gained it back. Independence, it's in my hand now. I have to, although I don't really wish to. I understand that 21-year-old girl should not be too reliable. I could see the world clearer today - because no one was there to be with me. I could hear the snoring of that lady who was sitting in front of me. I could see that Malay girl banged on the train's window to ask those selfish ones who were blocking the entrance to move to the centre. I could see that little kid was still happily playing with his mom despite the warm and suffocating environment in the KTM.

I wanted to share my happiness of buying some awesome dresses for RM25 at Bijou Bazaar. I wanted to complain when the train was delayed for 15 minutes while my customer was already waiting me at the destination. (sorry Melissa, if you are reading. Really sorry) I wanted to make faces when I felt suffocated in the crowded train. I wanted to pinch someone when the taxi driver was telling some lame jokes. But I couldn't. There was no one with me today.

I was being independent for one day. And I will be facing more of these days.

Alone. No. There won't be this picture without the assistance of my friends. Turned my head to the other side because I was laughing.

Acting alone? Now you really are.